I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
