Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
