you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
