does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
