your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
