U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
