we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
