I wanna passion pit in your ass
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
