so explain again why im purple
no
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
