i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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