So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
