Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
