Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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