Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
