I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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