he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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