Me too!
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
