After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
