God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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