yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize