dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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