you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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