Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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