Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He has the fingertips of a God
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
