im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
