Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
