I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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