Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
