absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
