i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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