also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
