There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just high enough for therapy.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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