Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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