jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
