One girl and one boy is just not enough.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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