my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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