How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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