On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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