I have demons in me.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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