my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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