Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Randomize
