Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize