Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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