Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
