shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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