Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
