I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
