He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
