We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
