Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize