Rock
Scissors
Fuck
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Naked Twister starts at high noon
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
