I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
