Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
