I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
