for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
