its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
