my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize