I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
