yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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