Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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