He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
