No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
