you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize