well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
