I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Randomize
