hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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