Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
