Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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