You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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