Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
