Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
