Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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