So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
