I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
