Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
